TRY A SIMPLE GRATEFULNESS PRACTICE

Did you know that gratefulness is a form of mindfulness?  The feeling of gratefulness takes place in the present – not in the past or the future. Mindfulness simply means paying attention to the experience of the moment, whether inner or outer, and feeling friendly and accepting about the experience, without judging it or feeling any ill will about it.

Gratefulness draws our awareness to what is already present. Practices that strengthen gratefulness invoke an emotional response that involves both appreciating and expressing gratitude. Gratefulness kindles happiness, respect, generosity, responsibility and opening to opportunities.

Living gratefully means becoming aware of what is already present, of noticing how many things are good, and how rich we actually are. That richness is present in warm friendships and loving relationships; in the vast number of opportunities we have; in the vitality of our minds; in our talents; and in our material well-being. Gratefulness points away from envy, dissatisfaction, stress, inadequacy, scarcity, and craving more of everything, by shifting focus to the personal and material wealth that we already have. Living gratefully is living, as many others have noted, with great fullness.

Feeling and expressing gratitude strengthens social relationships and promotes thoughtful behavior. We treat family and friends better when we become more consciously aware of their wonderful qualities or of how much they mean to us. Psychologist Robert Emmons describes an “upward spiral” in which gratitude strengthens relationships, making us even more grateful.

Living gratefully enhances our social relationships for a variety of reasons. Among these, grateful people are positive people and others are naturally drawn to them. Conscious gratefulness fills the mind with good, kind and generous thoughts, which influence how we act. Moreover, these feelings seem to contradict and decrease feelings of jealousy, anger, hatred, selfishness and the like. Thus, feelings of gratefulness actually seem to reduce negative emotions.

Gratefulness is sometimes described as a “practice,” something we consciously and deliberately do and repeat regularly. And there are indeed a number of gratefulness practices, but gratefulness is also an emotional response and a mindset that involves both appreciating and expressing gratitude. 

I think the most meaningful insight about gratefulness I have ever encountered is this from Brother David Stendl-Rast, co-founder of the international organization, “Gratefulness”

https://grateful.org/

“If you think it is happiness that makes you grateful, think again.It is gratefulness that makes you happy.”

An easy first step to living gratefully is to begin a simple gratefulness practice.  The most widely known practice is to keep a gratefulness journal, each day noting 5 things you feel grateful for. It works and you may enjoy that.

Here’s a twist on that includes creating a personal ritual and also invites the possibility sharing the practice with others if that feels right to you.  

A Gratefulness Jar

For this, you’ll need a glass jar (like an empty jelly jar) or a small box or other container and strips of paper. Decorate the container if you like. Place this somewhere central in your home, like a coffee table or kitchen counter.

Set an intention to become aware when you feel grateful about some event that randomly occurs.  Small things like a parking space that miraculously appears when you were in a rush or bigger things like the surprise of a long chat with a distant friend. A rainbow.  A kind store clerk. Someone offering to do a task for you. 

The Practice:

When you become aware, jot down what occurred on one of the strips of paper, fold it and place it in the jar. Over the week, your jar will become fuller.

Sharing:  

If you live with a partner, children or others, you may want to invite them to join you in this practice, everyone popping notes into the same little container.

The Ritual:  

Once a week, at some quiet time, take your jar to a favorite place to sit, or to gather if you are sharing this with others.  You may want to make this extra special by lighting a candle or placing a flower nearby or placing the jar on a special tray. One by one withdraw the slips of paper and read them.  If this is a shared ritual, take turns reading.  As you read each slip, take in one more time the nice thing that happened and silently or aloud, say ‘thank you.”